A Guide on Stupid-Spotting

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There are many types of stupid people out there, but here I’ll illustrate for you some of their more common tells. Knowing how to spot a stupid person is a useful skill in every day life. Identifying these Wonderful Individuals is necessary to us higher order life forms because it allows us first to assign these lower life forms their proper status, and to treat them accordingly. Secondly, this identification will prevent us from making the mistake of taking seriously any of the pseudo-intellectual drivel that might come forth from their oft-flapping mouth-hole.

To find a fool among a crowd of the brilliant, you must only look to see where your intelligent peers cast their disdainful eyes. A moron among intellectuals is quickly identified, for as soon as they speak they reveal their ignorance. Unfortunately, we do not often find ourselves in a group of intellectuals, nor do we find ourselves typically in a group featuring only one level of intelligence. Let’s discuss some easy ways to figure out which type of stupid person you’re dealing with, and how to spot them among their (possibly equally stupid) social group.

Stupid people will either be very loud or very quiet. This is because some stupid people are aware enough of their lack of mental acuity to shut their damn mouth around those who are their mental superiors. That, or they are quite used to being shunned from social groups for saying so much stupid shit. These types of stupid people are more difficult to identify, as they are easily mistaken for the closet intellectual who might be an autistic or otherwise socially inept. You can prod these types with some bait… Ask them their thoughts on your favorite flavor of physics. Discuss with them any field of intellectual inquiry which you’re interested in. Shit, ask them what their favorite book is, or what they last thing they read was. If they betray that they have never read a book, or have not read anything in quite some time, you’ve got a winner. If they name a book that sounds like fluff, you might just be dealing with someone who has poor taste in literature.

Identifying loud stupid people is much easier. Simple ask them to justify something they say. Usually, they’ll say something like “that’s just the way I feel”, or “I just know”. The ignorant will often jump to broad generalizations to justify their specific claims. This is because in order to justify a statement, one must know sufficient background information to support it. Stupid people love to make statements that might sound smart or deep on the surface, as these statements gain them Stupid-People-Points with their fellow chimps. Ask the magical question “Why?” and you’ll easily separate the smart from the not-so-smart.

Possibly the worst type of stupid people are the argumentative type. These particularly nasty idiots can win any argument because they are so steadfast in their own ignorance that they will resist any attempt to display logic or hard facts. These guys love to talk about politics, religion, and philosophy. Anything that is based in opinion or speculation is fair game for them, as these things cannot be refuted by simply asking Google to point out the flaws in their argument. Once you are baited into an argument with these people, there is no winning. Just ask them to send you the relevant empirical research on the topic, and say you’ll read it over and have a proper discussion with them at a later date. They’ll drool a little, trying to think of whether they ever read anything about their “facts” in the first place.

Here’s a book full of stupid doing as stupid does:
Emails from an A**hole: Real People Being Stupid

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